Best Person Comic Strips - Page 50

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508 Results for Best Person

View 491 - 500 results for best person comic strips. Discover the best "Best Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Siri Versus Alexa

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Siri Versus Alexa - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #relationships, #technology, #siri, #alexa, #gps

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dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Did You Get My Email

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Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

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the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors

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boss: the employee engagement survey results are in. aaand...not a single person answered the survey. looks like we have room to improve. dilbert: have you considered bribery?

Cause Of Unhappiness

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Cause Of Unhappiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #happiness, #office workers, #research, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.

Busy To Mentor

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Busy To Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy

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boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Anti Gun Advocates

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Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

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dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.