Crushing Head Comic Strips - Page 50

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View 491 - 500 results for crushing head comic strips. Discover the best "Crushing Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bought company, #discriminate, #non elbonian, #hatless spawn, #satans bowels, #elbonian company

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The Boss says, "An Elbonian company bought our company yesterday." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "They promise they won't discriminate against non-Elbonians." An Elbonian says, "Hey, hatless spawn of Satan's bowels, put a head on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trash, #garbage man, #soul, #shamwow, #suck, #wrong, #towel over head, #steal

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Asok says, "The word on the street is that you can help me get my soul back." Garbage man says, "Souls are totally fungible. Use this shamwow to absorb someone else's soul while you suck on the other end." Asok thinks, "Why does this suddenly seem so wrong?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #servers crash, #verify, #accomplishment, #awesome, #back of head, #business

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Wally says, "Our servers were about to crash, so I wrote a suite of scripts to keep them running." The Boss says, "Your accomplishments are suspiciously hard to verify." Wally says, "So, recapping what we know for sure, you're an inadequate verifier, and you can't rule out the possibility that I'm awesome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pinocchio, #nose grows, #long nose, #doctor, #exam, #stethoscope, #lies, #powerpoint, #proboscis, #nose through head, #pain, #medical

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Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #gadget, #sink attaches to body, #faucet on head, #running water, #work, #annoyed, #hearing, #yell

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Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #technical jargon, #lame, #condescending, #integration layer, #insult, #head, #business

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Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cellphone, #app, #application, #look, #shoot, #head, #pow, #zap, #funny noise, #angry, #wag tail, #trick

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Man says, "Look at this app!" Dilbert says, "Look at this app." Dilbert says, "You said the Dogbert app is supposed to make a funny noise." Dogbert says, "I'll bet it did."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking class, #meeting, #habits, #personalities, #robots, #Fun, #sarcastic, #business

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The Boss says, "I'm sending all of you to a public speaking class." The Boss says, "They will rid you of your nervous habits? and, with any luck, your personalities too. You will become indistinguishable from robots." Alice says, "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Asok says, "Get out of my head!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

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Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #pretend, #owner, #yell, #mouth open, #fire, #annoyed, #surprise, #power, #apologize, #point

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Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."