Hose The Plan Comic Strips - Page 50
522 Results for Hose The Plan
View 491 - 500 results for hose the plan comic strips. Discover the best "Hose The Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 02, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.
Share September 17, 2018's comic on:
Dogbert, the meeting referee. Man: Your plan is terrible. Dilbert: Compared to what? Man: Compared to the plan I imagine could exist, but doesn't. Duh. Dogbert: Penalty flag for incorrect us of "duh."
Share December 02, 2018's comic on:
CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?
Share December 08, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.
Share January 03, 2019's comic on:
Share February 20, 2019's comic on:
Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.
Share February 21, 2019's comic on:
Dilbert: Why are we going ahead with the plan when the data says it can't succeed? Boss: I manage by instinct and gut feelings. Dilbert: How's that different from being insane or stupid? Boss: My gut says I should not listen to you.
Share March 02, 2019's comic on:
Share April 14, 2019's comic on:
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Share May 13, 2019's comic on:
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...