Job Comic Strips - Page 50
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Character
936 Results for Job
View 491 - 500 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 25,
1999
Tags the turnaround ceo, work of 10 people, strategic planning, traitorous mole
Transcript
The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."
Thursday February 03,
2000
Tags unvested stock, quit, lose stock, brain irrationality, small loss, huge opportunity, stupid
Transcript
Outdoors, Dilbert tells Garbage Man: "If I quit I'll lose some unvested stock. That's why I'm willing to suffer my job." Garbage Man replies: "A normal brain irrationally puts more weight on a small loss than a huge opportunity." Dilbert begins to say: "But now that you explained it..." But Garbage Man interrupts him: "Now you're just stupid."
Monday March 06,
2000
Tags your cucbicle, connect network, stop by, every few minutes, the boss, emplyee
Transcript
The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."
Tuesday April 25,
2000
Tags social misfits, keep him away, normal people, engineering liason
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."
Friday July 14,
2000
Tags rendered useless, stress, bad management, secret, quiet, blare
Transcript
Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."
Wednesday August 09,
2000
Tags poach employees, leave comapny, wink wink, moron
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm not allowed to poach employees if I leave this company." The Boss continues as he winks at Dilbert, "But there's no law against you asking me for a job...wink...wink." The Boss begins yelling, "I'm not going to wink all day you moron!"
Friday August 25,
2000
Tags sitting in a box, checking stocks, cucbicle, job, stock market, this is life, computer, money, survival, business, technology
Transcript
As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."
Saturday September 02,
2000
Tags kicking me, least valuables, manager, most valuable emplyees, turnover, increase turnover
Transcript
The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags amoeba, boss, cry, cubicle, doing work, gets fired, key board, one cell organism, secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.
Thursday September 28,
2000
Tags show plan, budget, resources, weakness
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."

