Managers Comic Strips - Page 50
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596 Results for Managers
View 491 - 500 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 11,
2020
Building Codes
Tags managers & supervisors, business, lab, construction, building, codes, stringent, guarantee, rain, mayor, campaign, sarcasm, face mask, false, hope, phase
Transcript
boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.
Monday September 14,
2020
Survivor Guilt
Tags coronavirus, managers & supervisors, business, double, income, pandemic, covid, survivor guilt, sympathy, face mask
Transcript
ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.
Tuesday September 15,
2020
Doubled Income
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask
Transcript
boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.
Wednesday September 16,
2020
Trick Question
Tags managers & supervisors, business, interview, question, trick, blm, black lives matter, dismissed, employment
Transcript
catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!
Thursday September 17,
2020
New Words
Tags managers & supervisors, new words, racist, sexist, power, master switch, server, shelve, politically correct, face mask
Transcript
catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.
Friday September 18,
2020
Chip For Tracking
Tags business, managers & supervisors, chip, track, employee, badge, convenience, excuse, coincedence, face mask, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: we are adding a chip to your employee badges so we can track your social distancing. dilbert: that sounds like a convenient excuse to do something you've always wanted to do anyway. boss: that's probably a coincidence.
Saturday September 19,
2020
Wally's Restroom Time
Tags covid-19, managers & supervisors, responsibility, employee, tracker, men's room, social distancing, business, face mask
Transcript
boss: according to my employee tracker, you spent 45 minutes in stall four of the men's room today. wally: i thought you said the purpose of tracking us was to ensure social distancing. boss: i think you have to accept some responsibility for believing it.
Monday September 21,
2020
Conflict Resolution
Tags managers & supervisors, anger, office workers, conflict, resolution, discussion, temperature, idiots, yammering, sarcasm, insult
Transcript
boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.
Tuesday September 22,
2020
Omit Information
Tags business ethics, illness, managers & supervisors, business, project, summary, mistakes, ethical, lie, violation, context, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?
Wednesday September 23,
2020
Business Lying
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, lying, context, important, acceptable, sick, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

