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View 491 - 500 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beta test, meeting, face front, impractical maintenance requirement, lube, bear's ear, warrant, product, legal, shake fist, justice, sick, hand to mouth, shake, throw up, business, medical

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The Boss says, "The beta test went well. Thank you, Dilbert." The Boss says, "Now I'll have Tina add an impractical maintenance requirement to the manual and we're ready to go." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "It's standard procedure." The Boss says, "Say the user needs to lube the product ten time a day with the wax from a bear's ear." The Boss says, "And say the warranty is voided if the device isn't properly maintained." Dilbert says, "Is that legal?" The Boss says, "It's better than legal." The Boss says, "We're using the law to keep justice away!!" Dilbert says, "I feel sick." The Boss says, "That's how you know it's working."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags use old technology, get funded, raise issue, any issues, old technology, works fine, new technology buggy

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Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tesks, intern, anti meeting spell, traffic estimates, barraged with questions, fights ensue, new service, web application, all technology, internet bubble, platform

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Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags set up meeting, review board, new technologies, decide, answer question

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The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags future product features, 3 priorities, essential, critical, must have, pretend to add value

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Dilbert: "As you requested, I sorted the future product features into three priorities." "Let me know which group I should stop working on." Essential Critical Must-Have "This is the part where you pretend to add value."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new circuit design, worse, everyone says so, not familiar, spoke with people, rumprs, innuendo, made up staory

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The Boss: "Everyone says your new circuit design is worse than the old one." Dilbert: "By 'everyone', do you mean you heard it from one person who doesn't like me, and isn't familiar with either design?" The Boss: "I also spoke to the people who heard it from that one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vp of marketing, improve revenues, ridiculous lie, gullible moron, he believed it, touche

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The Boss: Our new VP of marketing promises to improve our revenues by ten billion percent! Alice: "That is a ridiculous lie that only a gullible moron would believe." Dogbeet: "Oh yeah? How do you explain the fact that HE believed it?" The boss: "Touche"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, huge wesel, new hires, credible, complin, stop doing, stop working

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Wally: The new guy is a huge weasel. Don't believe anything he says. The Boss: "You say that about all the new hires so they won't seem credible when they complain about you." Wally: "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rebalance 401k, new starategy, element of surprise

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The Boss: Our new strategy has never worked for anyone before. "That will give us the element of surprise." "Let's get started!" Dilbert: "Can I rebalance my 401(k) first?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intern, test pilot, new moon, shuttle prototype, wiser, monkey on first flight

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The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."