Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 50
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1000 Results for Office Buildings
View 491 - 500 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 28,
2000
Tags fake surveillance camera, chepaer, discourage thefts, treat employees like criminals, leave
Transcript
Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."
Saturday February 24,
2007
Tags dead horse, gallops away, punch horse, store for everything, in office
Transcript
The boss: Someone left a dead horse in the hall. I am going to punch that dead horse until it gallops away. punch punch punch punch Dilbert: You were right. But where did you find a dead horse? Alice: Theres a store for everything.
Wednesday August 08,
2012
Tags cruelty, office workers, new intern, treated pooryly, perpetuate cycle, abuse, feisty, name
Transcript
Asok: This is my new intern. I haven't bothered to name him yet. I've been treated poorly as an intern, and I'm anxious to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Man: I have a name! Carol: He's feisty. I like that.
Friday August 10,
2012
Tags cruelty, office workers, unpaid intern, resort fee, work experience, zips eyeholes, leather hood
Transcript
Tina: Are you the new upaid intern? Coworker: No, but that's what I aspire to be. I'm merely an intern to another intern. And I pay a resort fee just to use the restroom. Tina: At least you get valuable work experience. Coworker: Until he zips the eyeholes on the leather hood I wear in meetings.
Saturday August 11,
2012
Tags lifesaving, office workers, interns, accident, organs harvested, to save intern
Transcript
Asok: I know it feels unimportant to be an intern to another intern, but if I ever get into a serious accident then... Coworker: I would step into your job? Asok: I was going to say your organs will be harvested to save me, but now you've made it awkward. Coworker: Sorry!
Sunday September 23,
2012
Tags suspicion, decisons, office, options, blame later, evil, record on phone. boss, work
Transcript
Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.
Wednesday December 05,
2012
Tags suspicion, assemble data, boring work, quality over quality, poor politics, office politics
Transcript
Boss: I need you to assemble a huge amount of totally incomprehensible data. Make it boring so no one looks at it too closely. I'm aiming for quantity over quality. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: No one would pay you to feel good.
Sunday January 27,
2013
Tags discussion, frustration, deliverable deadline, proactive, opposite of proactive, empowered employees, bad morale, big bungler, open door policy
Transcript
Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!
Saturday February 09,
2013
Tags corporate yoga, power poses, realizing testosterone, office, cubicle
Transcript
Boss: What's this? Dilbert: It's corporate yoga. I'm using victory and power poses to trick my brain into releasing testosterone to make me more of a leader. Alice: I don't know what this is, but I want in.
Sunday March 03,
2013
Tags hunter gather roots, office equipment, ouge, power cords, rummages through trah, trash into gold, upgarde
Transcript
Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.

