While You Complain Comic Strips - Page 50
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561 Results for While You Complain
View 491 - 500 results for while you complain comic strips. Discover the best "While You Complain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 21,
2017
Add Feature To Legacy System
Tags legacy, development, change, obstinacy, engineers, stalemate
Transcript
Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday March 06,
2017
No Walking Away
Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business
Transcript
Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.
Thursday March 09,
2017
No Texting At Work
Tags politeness, etiquette, company policy, communication, distraction, social media, conversation, interaction, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?
Sunday March 26,
2017
Tags conversation, delay, frustration, interpersonal communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Sunday April 16,
2017
Tags waiter, restaurant, service industry, impatient, patience, complaining
Transcript
Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.
Monday March 13,
2017
Actual Company Policy
Tags complaining, management, manipulation, strategy, vacation, training, company policy
Transcript
Boss: I can't approve your vacation days because you haven't completed the mandatory class on fax machine safety. Dilbert: Is that an actual company policy? Boss: I don't know, but it sounds like one. Dilbert: Maybe we should check. Boss: Wow. Is there anything you DON'T complain about?
Thursday March 16,
2017
Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic
Tags vacation, work, workload, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.
Wednesday May 03,
2017
Tina Has Phone Anxiety
Tags cell phone, boredom, time, killing time, anxiety, addiction, distraction, technology
Transcript
Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.
Monday May 22,
2017
Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain
Tags intelligence, technology, nanotechnology, biotechnology, computer chip
Transcript
Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?
Thursday June 08,
2017
Dilbert Is Under Budget
Tags project, budget, money, stealing, embezzlement, consequences
Transcript
Ted: You charged expenses to my project code. Dilbert: I had to because I don't have a budget. Ted: This will make it seem as if I went over budget while you didn't spend a penny. Dilbert: Good point. Wally: How's your project coming along with no budget? Dilbert: Better than I'd hoped.