Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 51
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Character
1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 501 - 510 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 26,
2013
Tags allegiance, work has no meaning, sound disloyal
Transcript
Dilbert: My work has no meaning. I understand it's your job to fix that situation before I become disloyal. Boss: I think it's too late. You already sound disloyal. Dilbert: Really? That opens a lot of options. Boss: Let me know if there's anything else I can do.
Friday June 28,
2013
Tags absent mindedness, interviews, unemployed, out of work, rising a bike, swivel, fall, chair
Transcript
Boss: I'm concerned because you've been out of work for such a long time. Interviewee: It's like riding a bicycle. Once you learn, you always know how. Boss: Are you okay? Interviewee: Did chairs always swivel?
Tuesday July 09,
2013
Tags wages, 2% raise, lower quality of work, side bets, money
Transcript
Boss: The best I can give you is a 2% raise. Dilbert: No problem. I'll just lower the quality of my work until my pay feels fair. Boss: You can't do that. Dilbert: I'm taking side bets that I can.
Tuesday July 16,
2013
Tags work ethic, work best, under pressure, deadline, corner stone
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, are you almost done with your part of the project? Wally: I work best under pressure, so I wait until the deadline is almost here. Coworker: What if something more important comes up and you don't have time? Wally: That's the cornerstone of my system.
Wednesday July 24,
2013
Tags apathy, work ethic, new revisions, work, meaning
Transcript
Carol: Ignore the page revisions I send out ten minutes ago. Your boss revised them again. Dilbert: Can I ignore the new revisions, too? I'm only asking because that was my plan. Carol: Thank you for removing the last shred of meaning from my work. Dilbert: It's what I do.
Saturday August 03,
2013
Tags obliviousness, office buildings, work ethic, prodcutivity, cubicles, one clown car
Transcript
Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.
Thursday August 22,
2013
Tags actors & actresses, contests, work ethic, academy award, convincing portrayl, dishonor, nominated
Transcript
Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Friday November 08,
2013
Tags gratitude, managers & supervisors, work ethic, great leadership, project, useful things, good work, greedy, business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to thank myself for my great leadership on the project. Some of you did useful things, too, but only because I threatened to fire you if you didn't. So don't let it go to your heads. Catbert: I hope you didn't tell them they did good work. Boss: No, that makes them greedy.
Thursday December 05,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, work ethic, facebook, work, home, unpaid work, business
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.


