Average Call Comic Strips - Page 51

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509 Results for Average Call

View 501 - 509 results for average call comic strips. Discover the best "Average Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Humans And Parakeets

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Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

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Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Manipulation Via Dopamine

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Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

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Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Alice Won't Shake Hands

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Alice Won't Shake Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs

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the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?

Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom

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Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mobile phone

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carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.

Average Idiot

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Average Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #office, #user interface, #idiot

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the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface? dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it. the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it. dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #jobs, #math, #sarcasm, #review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

The Opinionated Old Guy

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The Opinionated Old Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion

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the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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