Computer Comic Strips - Page 51
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Character
634 Results for Computer
View 501 - 510 results for computer comic strips. Discover the best "Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 29,
2008
Tags 300 iq, computer, convincing people, desk, evil director, human resources, nobel prize, track record, unix, technology, business
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."
Monday March 03,
2008
Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate
Transcript
CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"
Thursday March 06,
2008
Tags anger, emailed payroll, pay discrepncy, punches screen, quiet, secret, smashes computer, report
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, I e-mailed you the department payroll report to reformat. Don't let anyone see it because they might... BAM! Exactly. They might do that.
Sunday May 11,
2008
Tags file emailed, viewer application, upgrade, operating system, new one, corrupted files
Transcript
"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."
Tuesday May 20,
2008
Tags not attracted, long enough, fix things, tech support, use abilities, no action
Transcript
Tina: I'm not attracted to you, but I'd like to date you for one month. That should be long enough to resolve any tech support issues on my home computer, cell phone and home theater." Dilbert: Would there be any kissing? Tina: What kind of girl do you think I am?
Saturday May 24,
2008
Tags churn butter, needs, next budget cycle, not in budget, broken computer
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My computer is broken. I need a new one." The Boss says, "We don't have the budget." The Boss says, "Do things that don't require a computer until the next budget cycle." Dilbert says, "Like churning my own butter?" The Boss says, "You make it sound creepy."
Monday May 26,
2008
Tuesday May 27,
2008
Tags request, broken computer, borrow one, selfish tools, coffee stirres
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."
Saturday June 21,
2008
Tags monitor actions, cameras, strapped to head, non work related, attach sensors, track thoughts, engineers, lab assistant
Transcript
Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."
Saturday August 09,
2008
Tags security software, insisting, critical updates, critical upadtes, no win
Transcript
Wally says, "My security software kept insisting that I download critical updates." Wally says, "I didn't have time to do all that, and I couldn't risk using my computer without critical updates. It was a no-win situation." The Boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "What part of 'no-win' is confusing you?"

