Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 51

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 501 - 510 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad raise, boss, fired, managing expectations, heartless

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: You're fired! woman: Gaaa!!!" The Boss: Not really. But now this 2% raise won't seem so bad. This job is all about managing expectations."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, evaluate job applicants, unqualified loser, nailing it, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags behind schedule, defective equipment, improbable event, reliable vendor, sales guy, golfing, bought hat, impossible boss, on the hook

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mock interview, weasel, edit trainer, costume, human costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gossip, spreading rumors, monkey could do, corporate newsletter, trick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass damaged, vice president, miserable and helpless, actual job

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new job, miserable and helpless, Women, attracted to men, salary ranges, trophy wives, carnival skanks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass, healed, position of power, narrow gap, executive pay, worker pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, thrown out window, press charges, security, gunning for job, hire for yacht, policeman

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ergonomically correct, evil director, human services, job perfomance, chairs, wellness related

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."