Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 51

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612 Results for Stop Watch

View 501 - 510 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Intuitive Not Worthless

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Intuitive Not Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.

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Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, trying, trial and error, criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

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Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, secret, gratitude

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Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

Wally The Thought Leader

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Wally The Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags title, leadership, work ethic, laziness, strategy, ruse

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Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, overanalyzing, asking out, relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, con, deception, hiring, money, referral, scheme, guest artist, jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

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Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture

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Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.

Wally Might Be Jealous

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Wally Might Be Jealous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, wife, wives, Women, roles, nagging, demands, cheating, adultery, relationships

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Wally: I hear you have two work wives. Dilbert: You sound jealous. Wally: Do I? Tina: Stop what you're doing and drive me to my car. Wally: Hee-hee! Snork.

Social Justice Warrior

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Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sjw, hiring, internet, troll, trolling, sensitivity, political correcness, politically correct, technology

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Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!