Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 51
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612 Results for Stop Watch
View 501 - 510 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 15,
2016
Intuitive Not Worthless
Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding
Transcript
Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.
Tuesday April 26,
2016
Your Idea Has Been Tried
Tags failure, trying, trial and error, criticism
Transcript
Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
Thursday May 05,
2016
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows
Tags Advice, bad advice, secret, gratitude
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags title, leadership, work ethic, laziness, strategy, ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Sunday May 22,
2016
Tags dating, overanalyzing, asking out, relationships
Transcript
Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.
Thursday May 26,
2016
Wally Gets Referral Money
Tags bonus, con, deception, hiring, money, referral, scheme, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!
Tuesday May 31,
2016
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse
Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics
Transcript
Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.
Monday June 06,
2016
Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency
Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture
Transcript
Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.
Thursday June 09,
2016
Wally Might Be Jealous
Wednesday June 15,
2016
Social Justice Warrior
Tags sjw, hiring, internet, troll, trolling, sensitivity, political correcness, politically correct, technology
Transcript
Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!