Ceo Comic Strips - Page 51
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Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 501 - 510 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 15,
2006
Sunday February 12,
2006
Transcript
Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."
Wednesday January 18,
2006
Transcript
"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."
Tuesday January 17,
2006
Sunday December 11,
2005
Tags billion dollar line, design, ecstatic, massive design flaws, press release, proper incenives, stock options, underwater
Transcript
"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."
Wednesday November 30,
2005
Tags after merger, job of ceo, old married couple
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll be sharing the job of CEO." "We get along great, just like an old married couple. Ha ha ha!" "He's the wife."
Tuesday November 29,
2005
Tags two ceos, top job, syockholders, average employees slaary
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"
Saturday November 12,
2005
Tags board meeting, outsourcing, ceo job, 26 million, elbonian ceo, good guy, consulting contract
Transcript
Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"
Thursday October 27,
2005
Tags pension fund, solevent, workplace safety, ceo, smoking is cool
Transcript
"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."
Sunday October 23,
2005
Tags evil director, fly on plane, guidelines, key employees, ceo, presdient, same flight, interns, run with sciccors, plastic bags, over heads
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"


