Improved Dating Life Comic Strips - Page 51

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View 501 - 510 results for improved dating life comic strips. Discover the best "Improved Dating Life" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, rex, good, bad, evil, force, dinosaurs, animal behavior

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Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, kiss, question, gracefully, blind dating, love, dog, animal behavior

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Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, judy, blind, date, woman, friends, Dogs, body, dog, dating

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Dilbert says to Judy, "To be honest, Judy, I wouldn't have agreed to this blind date . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . If I had known you were a woman trapped in a dog's body." Judy, a dog in a dress, looks sad. Judy says, "Oh, right, and this is the part where you say 'Let's be friends, but maybe I could pet you sometimes.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, protest, obscene, opera, foreign, language, sheltered, life

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to protest the obscene lyrics in opera." Dilbert says, "It's not obscene . . . It's a foreign language." Dogbert stops writing and says, "Oh . . . I thought I was just living a very sheltered life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinosaurs, bob, dawn, lesson, life, stinks, kick, hatch

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs stand in a cave watching their egg. Dawn says, "Our egg is starting to hatch!!" Bob says, "C'mon egg! Push! You can do it by yourself!!" Dawn yells, "Kick it! Kick it!" Bob asks Dawn, "Should we help?" Dawn replies, "No, it's an important lesson on life." The baby in the egg thinks, "So far it stinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert's, ego, porsche, woman, Dilbert, dating, bar

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Dogbert: Nice toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene. Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche? Dilbert's Ego: It's red... But enough about me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, pity, date, beauty, grace, attracted, Dogbert, standards, woman, dating

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Heather, there's something I must tell you." Heather says, "Stop . . . Stop right there. I know what you're going to say." Heather continues, "Although it's our first date, you find yourself very attracted to me." Heather continues, "You are stunned by my grace and beauty, and you hope we can be more than friends." Heather continues, "Let me set you straight, Dilbert: this is a pity date. My standards are too high for you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I just wanted to tell you that your dress was tucked into the back of your pantyhose all night." Heather looks shocked. Back at home, Dogbert asks, "How was your date?" Dilbert replies, "Man, it doesn't get any better than that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, shopping, nerdstrom, compile family, complimentary, guarantee, nice

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Dilbert walks into a store called Nerdstrom. A salesclerk says to Dilbert, "Hi, I'm Larry, and I'll be your personal shopping assistant." The salesman opens a measuring tape and says, "I'll start by measuring you, then I'll do your colors, then compile a brief family history for our records." The salesman continues, "Complimentary food and beverages will be served, and a masseuse is on call." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a new pen . . . Maybe something in a Bic." The man says, "I recommend the blue. We guarantee it for life." Dilbert says, "Yes, this will do nicely." Back at home, Dogbert asks, "Was it expensive?" Dilbert replies, "Fortunately, I qualified for their identured servant plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, absence, mother, nature, absence dog, cloned, sick, woman, employee, leave of absence

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Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, alive, Dogbert, servant, ancient, Dogs, banana split

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Dilbert, who is naked, picks Dogbert up and says, "I'm alive!! I owe my life to you, Dogbert, for cloning me in the nick of time." Dogbert says, "According to ancient dog tradition, you must be my servant for life." Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a counter in a restaurant. Dogbert says, "Don't tell the ancient dogs I settled for a banana split."