New Employee Comic Strips - Page 51

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Employee

View 501 - 510 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intern, promote, excited, dance, annoyed, arrogant, limbo, exist

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, you've been such a good intern that I've decided to promote you." The Boss says, "Your new status is called limbo. You will exist in a plane between the living and the damned." Asok says, "Yes!!! I will exist!" The Boss says, "Great. It went right to his head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales bonus level, happy, smile, employee, salesman, too low

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, boss, employee, stupid question, inspire, angry, dead body, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new boyfriend, coworker, angry, jack, clench fist, restaurant, waiter, bent fork, red flag, relationship, bad choice

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Carol, this is my new boyfriend, Angry Jack." Alice says, "I met him in a restaurant after he beat up a busser for bringing a bent fork." Carol says, "In thie white trash community, we call that a red flag." Alice says, "You weren't there. That fork was a mess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new boyfriend, coworker, angry, jack, clench fist, engineer, social, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, employee, walk, coffee cup, applicant, phone, ring, wake up, brag

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to."<BRWally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with anyone who put in eight hours a day." Wally says, "then our best people left." Wally says, "Now on cubicles are mostly used for napping." Wally says, "So my question is this: Would a ringing phone wak you up?" Tim says, "Probably." Wally says, "He comes across as a braggart."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pitchman, new product, salesman, block of wood, machine, rays, reality distortion, stand on stool, consumers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, front, meeting, block of wood, cell phone, network, cool, business, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."