Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 51

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View 501 - 510 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

Improving Your Reputation At Work

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Improving Your Reputation At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, power, socialization, social skills, Advice

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Asok: How can I improve my reputation at work? Wally: The easiest way is to make your co-workers look worse. Asok: Wouldn't they notice? Wally: You didn't.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

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New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags layout, office, desk, work environment, efficiency, catch-22, loophole, laziness, excuse

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Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.

The Danger Of Sitting

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The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, office, sitting, chair, health, working, sedentary, danger

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Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.

Alice Should Network With Men

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Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, sexism, Women, sexist, attraction, success, glass ceiling

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CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Boss Gets Standing Desk

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Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fads, desk, standing, health, fitness, office furniture, trends

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Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.