Awful Thing Comic Strips - Page 51

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514 Results for Awful Thing

View 501 - 510 results for awful thing comic strips. Discover the best "Awful Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Refusing Customer Demands

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Refusing Customer Demands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, customer, demands, face mask, fault, Lose, managers & supervisors, refuse, sarcasm, technology

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dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!

Banana Is Not An Apple

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Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, apple, argue, banana, business, doctored image, google, managers & supervisors, search, wrong

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dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Hand Sanitizer

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Hand Sanitizer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, hand sanitizer, addicted, overuse, face mask, covid-19, pandemic

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dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.

Scheduling A Call

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Scheduling A Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference call, schedule, call, zoom, facetime, signal, whatsapp, voice call, clock

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boss and dilbert communicating on video conference call. dilbert: let's schedule a follow-up call. do you prefer zoom, FaceTime, signal, WhatsApp, or voice call? boss: zoom dilbert: how about next tuesday at 10 a.m. my time, which is 1 p.m. your time? boss: i'll be on the road then, so you 10 a.m. will be my noon. but that's after the time change. boss: and i can't remember if i'm going to a place that change their clocks. dilbert: why don't we skip the whole thing because the call we are scheduling probably won't be any more useful than this one. boss: let us never speak of this again.

Trust Coworkers

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Trust Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, trust, pretend, different

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in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.

General Incompetence

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General Incompetence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, success, expectations, destroy, incompetent, sarcasm

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dilbert: in summary, my project was successful beyond all expectations. Colleague: my relative lack of success this year makes me hate you and want to destroy you. dilbert: what's stopping you? colleague: general incompetence. same thing that killed all of my projects.

Loud Using Zoom

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Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine

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dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

I Can't Hear You

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I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, engineer, sales, dumb, hear, inaudible, meeting, long

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Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Yay, A Package

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Yay, A Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags package, arrived, consumer, amazon, purchase, birthday, feel, forgetfulness, dish soap

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Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.