Ceo Buzz Comic Strips - Page 51

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View 501 - 510 results for ceo buzz comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Buzz" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #out of coffee, #false sense, #urgency, #stress, #project, #finish project, #aftrenoon

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Dilbert says, "We're out of coffee." Dilbert says, "Can you give me a false sense of urgency and some unnecessary stress to compensate?" The Boss says, "Finish your project before our CEO stops by on Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Perfect. I'll see you this afternoon for a second cup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #director of green, #pumping toxic waste, #water supply, #giant mutated alliagtor, #destroyed factory, #competitors factory, #karma discredited, #pollute

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Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #report, #oil rigs, #explode, #medicine, #bacteria, #pharmaceuticals, #government, #share holder, #success, #lie

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The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #death ray, #invention, #brain scan, #popcorn, #microwave, #worry, #eyebrows, #north korea

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CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

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CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #employees, #undproductive, #ineffecient, #brow, #windshield, #business

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Dogbert the empire consultant Dogbert says, "Make your employees less productive. That way your CEO will let you hire more of them." Dogbert sys, "Inefficiency is the same thing as leadership. A king needs an entire country just to wipe his?" The Boss says, "Brow?" Dogbert says, "I was going to say windshield." The Boss says, "Brow is catchier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #poison pill, #company takeover, #front, #surprise, #angry, #awkward, #uncomfortable, #skip, #pre-meeting, #business

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CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."