Hurt So Much Comic Strips - Page 51

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544 Results for Hurt So Much

View 501 - 510 results for hurt so much comic strips. Discover the best "Hurt So Much" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Offended Everyone

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Wally Offended Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #offense, #offensive, #sensitivity, #political correctness, #politically correct

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Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.

Better Listener Robot

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Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion, #relationships, #technology

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Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #power, #interns, #roadblock

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Boss: You'll need to get buy-in from the other departments. Asok: You have given me an impossible task. I am only an intern. No one will agree to anything I ask because I have no power to hurt them. Most department heads won't even schedule a meeting with me. And if they do, they will end up canceling it at the last minute and rescheduling. There is literally no way for me to succeed at this task. Boss: I also need you to ask them to fund your project out of their budgets.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Modular Workstations

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Modular Workstations  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #language, #semantics, #workspace

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Boss: From now on, you must refer to your cubicle as a "modular workstation." The word "cubicle" is demeaning to the people who work in them. Dilbert: I feel so much better now. Boss: Good. I was hoping it would work quickly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

Internal Rules Versus Good Code

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Internal Rules Versus Good Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy

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Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Wally Secret Project

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Wally Secret Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #laziness, #avoidance

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Boss: Wally can you review this? Wally: I'm on an urgent deadline. Boss: What is the deadline for? Wally: It's a secret project. Boss: Why don't I know about this? Wally: I don't know. I haven't studied your ignorance in that much detail.

Repeating Your Point Too Much

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Repeating Your Point Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #body cam, #camera, #survillance, #insult, #rudeness

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Dilbert: According to my body cam playback, you have repeated your point twelve times. Maybe you could try saying other things for a few minutes. Man: I wasn't expecting you to be so rude. Dilbert: You're not the first to make that mistake.