Loyal Employees Comic Strips - Page 51

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588 Results for Loyal Employees

View 501 - 510 results for loyal employees comic strips. Discover the best "Loyal Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Compensation Based On Happiness

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Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #company culture, #raise, #wages, #job satisfaction, #compensation, #psychology, #money

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Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Story Telling Mothman

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Story Telling Mothman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mothman, #workload, #responsibility, #stress, #story, #talking

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Boss: I hired a storytelling mothman. He identifies with employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling long stories. Dilbert: We don't need a storytelling mothman. Boss: Then why does every company have one?

Team Building Dance

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Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

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Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

Elbonian Interference

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Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

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Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Ai For Productivity

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Ai For Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #meeting, #productivity, #obliviousness, #business

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Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse

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Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.

Speaking Truth To Power

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Speaking Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power

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Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

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The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.

Exceeding Expectations

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Exceeding Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.