New Employee Comic Strips - Page 51

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Employee

View 501 - 510 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vice president of engineering, office, lack of experience, revenge, office politics, worry, sabotage, best engineer, 4g, skeptical, false information

View Transcript

Transcript

The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, evil director, employee, morale, high, happy, overpaid, nature, yell, clouds, unhappy, hands clasped, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags training, new software, trick, hire, job opening, interview, technical expert, provide

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, military, weapon demo, new york harbor, light show, statue of liberty, stump, newspaper, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "We're planning to introduce our new military product with a light show in New York harbor." Coworker says, "Wally, can you handle the weapon demo and the light show?" Wally says, "Sure. What could go wrong?" One week later Dilbert says, "They're calling it 'The Stump of Liberty.'" Wally says, "No one is saying it was a boring show."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothes, new look, black turtleneck, jeans, juice bag, insult, hulu, Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?" Carol says, "You look like a total juice bag." The Boss says, "That's good, right?" Carol says, "What answer gets me back to watching my shows on Hulu?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new head regulator, small man, pocket, pet head, breast feed, lactate, kibble, drinks, ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anonymous online employee survey, slip up, look at paper, angry, eyebrows, trust, ironic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "According to the anonymous online employee survey, you don't trust management. What's up with that?" The Boss says, "Oh. Right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anonymous online employee survey, unabomber, copy, drink coffee, worry, copyright

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Wally, we're concerned about the comments you made on your anonymous employee survey." Catbert says, "Your comments are disturbingly similar to the unabomber's manifesto." Wally says, "He was a good writer." Catbert says, "We have a problem." Wally says, "Is it a copyright thing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, front, meeting, block of wood, cell phone, network, cool, business, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."