Ratbert As Intern Comic Strips - Page 51
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526 Results for Ratbert As Intern
View 501 - 510 results for ratbert as intern comic strips. Discover the best "Ratbert As Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 04,
2007
Tags #sales questions, #vice presdient, #talk to boss, #questions, #confusion, #chaos, #time management
Transcript
Wally: "Where do you think you're going?" Asok: "I need to ask our VP of sales a question." Wally: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" "You can't speak directly with a vice president." "You need to talk to your boss, who talks to his boss, who talks to someone who is friends with the VP of sales, who then talks to him." Asok: "Wouldn't that virtually guarantee that the wrong question gets asked?" Wally: "It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." Asok: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Talk to my secretary."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 04,
2007
Tags #vacation time, #off next week, #cures eyou, #so much work, #die! relieve stress, #unsupportive
Transcript
The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."
Friday October 05,
2007
Tags #quadrupled workload, #hom early, #battlestar galactica, #sandwhich, #envy vactionless
Transcript
Asok: I quadrupled my workload to finish projects before I go on vacation. Dilbert: "I'm going home early to watch Battlestar Galactica on my DVR." "I might eat a nice sandwich!" Asok: "Must...Not...Envy...The vacationless."
Saturday October 06,
2007
Tags #powerpoint presentation, #confused jumble, #information, #winos spittle, #unsupported conclusions
Transcript
CO Worker: "Did you look at my powerpoint presentation?" Dilbert: "Yes, it's a confused jumble of useless information with a wino's spittle of unsupported conclusions." Coworker: "Wino's spittle?" Dilbert: "You heard me."
Tuesday October 16,
2007
Tags #20% raise, #two flat screens, #monitors, #evil genius, #second monitor
Transcript
Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"
Saturday October 20,
2007
Tags #security consultant, #suspicious behavior, #beat him, #death, #trash can, #recycle bins, #ask question, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "Be on the lookout for any suspicious behavior." "If you see a guy do something that you wouldn't do, beat him to death with a trash can." The Boss: "Can we use recycle bins?" Asok: "I wouldn't have asked that question."
Monday November 12,
2007
Tags #tech support, #asks customer, #information, #transfers call, #same questions, #barrier to progress, #other guy
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, I need you to fill in at tech support for a few days." "You'll be the guy who asks the customer for information, then transfers the call to another person who asks exactly the same questions." Asok: "Wouldn't that make me a barrier to progress?" " The Boss: Only if the other guy actually helped."
Wednesday November 14,
2007
Tags #develop good attitude, #job, #invigorated, #busy work, #relabel, #toner cartridges, #business
Transcript
Asok: "I'm trying to develop a good attitude about my job." "Every morning I tell myself I am invigorated by busywork." The Boss: "Asok, I need you to relabel the toner cartridges." Asok: "Woo-hoo!"
Friday November 16,
2007
Tags #mordac, #reventer, #information services, #complete log in, #stare directly at sun, #computer message
Transcript
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
Thursday December 06,
2007
Tags #prototype, #perfectly safe, #grim reaper, #works for free
Transcript
The boss: "Don't worry, Asok. The prototype is perfectly safe." The boss: "I found you a co-pilot. He's a bit grim, but he works for free." Copilot: "Hey, I wonder what this button does."