Talk To Death Comic Strips - Page 51

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

589 Results for Talk To Death

View 501 - 510 results for talk to death comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Antisocial

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #misanthropy, #introvert, #communication, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Presidential Role Model

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Presidential Role Model - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #role model, #example, #election, #candidate, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Wally Waits For People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

Messages For The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Messages For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #internet, #modernity, #attention, #distraction, #excuses, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.