Told Everyone Comic Strips - Page 51

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505 Results for Told Everyone

View 501 - 505 results for told everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Told Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

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Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #allegations, #crisis, #consultant, #statement, #lying, #dumb, #believe, #public, #legal, #defense

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dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Million Dollar Bonuses

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Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee

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boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Elbonian Sweat Shops

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Elbonian Sweat Shops - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #ignorance, #blowback, #press release, #condemn, #elbonia, #sweatshop, #issue, #products, #defense

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boss: we're getting major blowback on social media for your press release condemning elbonian sweatshop labor. ceo: it's an important issue. boss: it's also how we make all of our products. ceo: in my defense, someone should have told me that.

Ted Is Great But Not Enough

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Ted Is Great But Not Enough  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #employment, #exceptional, #fired, #universe, #sense, #complain, #reverse psychology

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boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.