Baby Sitting Comic Strips - Page 52

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549 Results for Baby Sitting

View 511 - 520 results for baby sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Baby Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baby, falls, game, management fast track, money, money bags, punch wessel, rescuing plastic baby, test, weasel, greed, failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illness, laziness, sitting disease, sit all day, bad health, safety more eimportant, drink coffee instead

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Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, ignorance (knowledge), project team, forrest fire, dropping baby, analogy, available people, stop progress

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Boss: Alice, I'm adding Jeff to your project team. Alice: That's like trying to put out a forest fire by dropping a baby on it. Boss: I'm available to help, too. Alice: Okay, your job is to keep Jeff from doing anything.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consumes resources, cruelty, gentle with crticism, software, soils itself, technology, tradition, useless blob, engineering

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Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, insults, obliviousness, robot, filling in, vacation, soul less creature, questionable intelligence

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Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, stock market, stocks, squirrel sitting, clown shoulder, technical analysis, money

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

The Danger Of Sitting

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The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, office, sitting, chair, health, working, sedentary, danger

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Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.

Wally Has A Sitting Injury

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Wally Has A Sitting Injury - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business

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Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

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People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Just A Guy In A Box

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Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags existentialism, existence, value, work, use, useful, change

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Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.