Computer Comic Strips - Page 52
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Character
634 Results for Computer
View 511 - 520 results for computer comic strips. Discover the best "Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 25,
2008
Tags director of green, turn off computer, stupid
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."
Wednesday November 19,
2008
Tags headache, laptop, meeting, evil director, human resources, laptops banned, meetings, should crushing boredom, futility headache, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Computer: Laptops are banned from all meetings. The only things that should be in your mind during meetings are soul-crushing boredom and a futility headache. The boss: That's more like it.
Thursday November 20,
2008
Tags computer, distraction, internet, productive, pictures of gadgets, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I want to be productive, but the internet is calling to me. Computer: Hey, buddy. I've got pictures of gadgets. Dilbert: Cool ones? Computer: Sure, let's pretend that matters.
Sunday December 07,
2008
Tags computer, defense, security, workstation, logged in, netowrk, teach someone a lesson, activating defensive wedgie system, violated perimeter, technology
Transcript
The boss: This workstation is still logged in to the network. It's time to teach someone a lesson about security. I'll just go in here and... Computer: WARNING! WARNING! IDIOT ALERT! The boss: GAAA! Computer: ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE WEDGIE SYSTEM.Dilbert: I have to go. Some idiot violated my perimeter. The boss: Please make it stop. Dilbert: Then how would you learn?
Monday December 08,
2008
Tags computer, hacking, illegal, support, technology, diagnose computer problem, remotely, spam server, snoop files, pilfer bank act.
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support Dogbert: May I remotely take over your computer to diagnose the problem? Now hold while I snoop into your personal filed, pilfer your bank accounts and turn your computer into a spam server. Client: THAT'S ILLEGAL! Dogbert: So are 75% of your personal files, but you don't see me getting all huffy.
Thursday December 11,
2008
Tags computer, financial, trouble, new computer, executive suite, no visitors, vacant offcies, financial troubles, old computer, vacant office, technology
Transcript
The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.
Tuesday May 05,
2009
Saturday May 09,
2009
Tags newspaper, scared, praying, stock broker, sitting, computer, reading, smiling, technology, Entertainment
Transcript
Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"
Tuesday June 30,
2009
Tags typing, lazy, idea, trick, deception, managing, stupidity
Transcript
Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"
Friday July 24,
2009
Tags coworker, thinking, sitting, computer, depressed, technology
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

