Employee Birthday Parties Comic Strips - Page 52

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View 511 - 520 results for employee birthday parties comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Birthday Parties" comics from Dilbert.com.

Toxic Employee Covers All Bases

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Toxic Employee Covers All Bases - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office workers, #work

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dibert: hey, aren't you the new toxic employee? toxic employee: i told your boss you think he's a jerk for giving wally an award for work you did. dilbert: i never said that. toxic employee: i covered that base by telling him you're a liar.

Toxic Employee Was Right

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Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #fire, #managers & supervisors

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boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

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Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

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Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Teambuilding Celebration

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Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

The Inexperienced Employee.

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The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers

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Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.