Improved Dating Life Comic Strips - Page 52

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

544 Results for Improved Dating Life

View 511 - 520 results for improved dating life comic strips. Discover the best "Improved Dating Life" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dating A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #relationships, #office policy, #rules, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.

How About Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

Everyone Does Their Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Does Their Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

New Year Resolution

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Year Resolution  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Loss Of Libido

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Employee Engagement Is Up

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.