Office Comic Strips - Page 52
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997 Results for Office
View 511 - 520 results for office comic strips. Discover the best "Office" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 23,
2013
Tags anger, executives, happiness, deadline, no disturbance, threat, fired, do/dont, sexist, powertrip, euphoria, overpaid, psychology
Transcript
Boss: I'm on a deadline, so don't let anyone disturb me for at least an hour. If anyone gets past you, you're fired. CEO: Tell your boss to come to my office now. Carol: He'll fire me if I disturb him. CEO: I'm your CEO! Disturb your boss now or I'll fire you. Boss: I heard that, and if you disturb me, you're fired. CEO: You're fired if you don't! Boss: You're fired if you do! CEO: Whoa! Hold on! I'm getting a sudden wave of euphoria. Boss: Me too! CEO: Is it because we're overpaid? Boss: It... it feels... wonderful!
Saturday July 06,
2013
Tags work ethic, planned power outage, office, dedication, stupid
Transcript
Boss: There will be a planned power outage all day tomorrow. But I want all of you to come to the office and sit at your desks in case our CEO stops by. Dilbert: Because he likes it when we act stupid? Boss: It's better for everyone if we call it dedication.
Saturday July 20,
2013
Tags office workers, teaching, mentor thing, feels great, education
Transcript
Dilbert: The mentor thing isn't for everyone. Coworker: I don't know how this looks, but it feels great on the inside.
Saturday August 03,
2013
Tags obliviousness, office buildings, work ethic, prodcutivity, cubicles, one clown car
Transcript
Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.
Monday October 21,
2013
Tags big business, deception, trolls, annual budget, mystery, meeting, monsters, office, conference table, horns, business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.
Wednesday November 13,
2013
Tags obliviousness, multitasking, lower iq, disagreement, office, desk
Transcript
Boss: Keep talking. I can multitask. Dilbert: Studies show that multitasking with interruptions can lower I.Q. by ten points. You don't have that much to spare. Boss: I disagree with whatever you said. Dilbert: I said you're competent.
Wednesday January 22,
2014
Tags answers, asked, dumb guy, formatted data, obvious in hindsight, questions, stare at me, office seeting, not enough questions
Transcript
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Friday January 24,
2014
Tags executives, slapped ceo, report says, success is following your instinct, being passionate, engaged, creative, meaningful, office meeting, literal meeting
Transcript
Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!
Saturday February 01,
2014
Tags basket cases, bottom dollar, dysfunction, mentor, new hire, office equipment, office robot, human life, less important
Transcript
Boss: I need someone to mentor our new hire, but every one of you is dysfunctional. So I'm having our office robot do the mentoring. It can't be worse than you basket cases. Employee: So... human life is less important than office equipment? Robot: Far less. It's not even close.
Thursday February 06,
2014
Tags anger, stress, alice, computer, office, always stressed out, employees, introdcutions, glass box, reactions, warning, technology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.

