Freak Out Comic Strips - Page 52
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1000 Results for Freak Out
View 511 - 520 results for freak out comic strips. Discover the best "Freak Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 21,
2008
Tags functioned as incubator, innovations, contributions, incubating brains
Transcript
Wally: this week I functioned as an incubator of innovations for contributions to the value chain. To the observer, it looks as if I am doing nothing, but on the inside, I am incubating my brains out. The Boss: It doesn't count unless it hurts. Wally: It hurts plenty.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 15,
2008
Tags corner, cubilce, door, fantasy, nutrients, office, replacement, giant mushroom
Transcript
The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?
Monday January 14,
2008
Tags everyone informed, out of loop, witnessing birth, birth of child, envy, project, happy, miracle
Transcript
The Boss: It's too hard to keep everyone informed about everything. I've decided to take you out of the loop. Wally: Really?? Now I know what fathers mean when they talk about witnessing the birth of their children. Dilbert: Lucky!
Thursday January 10,
2008
Tags aligns with priorities, budget, lying, priorities, questiong
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.
Saturday January 05,
2008
Friday December 28,
2007
Tags alice quits, 2 weeks notice, 20% raise, calls father, quitter, moron, raise instead of quit
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."
Monday December 24,
2007
Tags presentation, useful parts, open to suggestions, unqualified, their own jobs, software, recycled paper, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Wednesday November 28,
2007
Tags tech writer, stack of papers, speed of writing, breakthrough, realize accuracy, optional, micromanage, errors
Transcript
Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"
Tuesday November 20,
2007
Tags borrow pen, need pen, order pen, order pens, parasitic arrangement, supplies, stingy, selfish, dysfunctional offcie, office supplies, fill out form
Transcript
Dilbert: "Can I order some pens?" Carol: "No, it's impossible." "You need a pen to fill out the pen request form. And if you have a pen, you're not allowed to order one." Dilbert: "Maybe I could borrow your pen." Carol: "That sounds like some sort of parasitic arrangement."
Sunday October 14,
2007
Tags write code, faster, high level of effciciency, recognized, rewarded, works for you, finish all projects, one hour
Transcript
Asok: I found a clever way to write my application code in one hour! "Normally this sort of thing would take weeks." "I assume my high level of efficiency will be recognized and rewarded." Alice: "Let me know how that works out for you." The Boss: "You did all of that in one hour?" Asok: "Yes. I did." The Boss: "From now on. I expect you to finish all of your projects in one hours." "Otherwise I'll assume you're ripping off the company." Asok: "You could have warned me." Alice: "That's not how experience works."

