How To Comic Strips - Page 52

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To

View 511 - 520 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, powerpoint, technology, competition, industry, one slide, presentation, meeting, investors, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to make a PowerPoint deck for my meeting with investors. I'll be telling them everything I know about technology, competition, and the industry. Dilbert: So... just the one slide? Boss: Huh? Dilbert: How big do these fonts go?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags close friends, facebook, fix problem, friends, liked, posts, seven friends, therapy, shrink, popularity, social media, technology, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analogies, conversation, language, operational, puppet ate dictionary, operationalize strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What can I do to help you operationalize our strategy? Dilbert: You could stop talking like a puppet that ate a dictionary. Boss: I don't know how analogies work. Dilbert: I'm counting on that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags miserliness, wages, good work, saves billons, no raise, personal item, on desk, insoubordination, abuse of power, boss, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, your good work has saved the company over a billion dollars. But I can't give you a raise because you once had a personal item on your desk. Alice: How are those things equal?!! Boss: And here comes the insubordination.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telecommunication lines, work ethic, studies show, telecommunters, survey people, lying weasles, level of awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should let me work at home a few days per week because studies show that telecommuters put in more hours. Boss: How do they study that sort of thing? Wally: They survey people who work at home. Boss: What if those people are lying weasels? Wally: I wasn't counting on this level of awareness.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babbling, holacracy, organized, peoples cubicles, work ethic, learn to look busy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I need to learn how to look busy like the rest of you. Wally: Try walking into people's cubicles without an invitation and babbling about things they don't care about. Boss: I should write this down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obliviousness, thinking, judge them, chipmunk, judge algebra, complex and useful, innovative circuit design, engineer, office setting, desks, computers, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, slides tell a story, status of project, clown, broken watch, eagle, technology, old shoe, storm drain, pie chart, dcitionary, images, offcie, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crimes, revenge, difficult co workers, jerks, jar of polonium, deal with difficulty, office, Politics, registered, dog, stool, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.