Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 52

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 511 - 520 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cansisate, resume, spelling errors, hire a moron, poor perfromance, bigger reaise, interview skills, crazy good, manipulate, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career day, classroom, guest speaker, Dilbert, engineering, tells all, explaining things, to idiots, make decisions, misinterpreting, massic=ve problems, rumors overwhelm, assign blame, unpopular

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags develop good attitude, job, invigorated, busy work, relabel, toner cartridges, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I'm trying to develop a good attitude about my job." "Every morning I tell myself I am invigorated by busywork." The Boss: "Asok, I need you to relabel the toner cartridges." Asok: "Woo-hoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags old job, better than here, great company, fired, quit, moron

View Transcript

Transcript

"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fascinating internet, physical world, find joy, hot on iphone, back to cucbilce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't do my work because the internet is too fascinating. "The physical world no longer hold my interest. I find job only on the internet." "Can I take a hit on your iphone before I go back to my cubicle?" Catbert: "No."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help alice, argument, team work, control killing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My accomplishment this week was helping Alice finish her project in a timely manner." Alice: "You didn't do anything to help me." Wally: "Sure I did." "Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." Alice: "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." Wally: "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" Alice: "Must control...First...Of...Death."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public relations, marketing claims, tap water, unleaded gasoline, reanimate the dead, lousy job, job easier

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contract changes, last month, negotiate, not authorized, hope to wear you down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vp of marketing, spray paint the oadkill, dishonesty, isn't mortal, won't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, the VP of marketing Dogbert: "It's my job to spraypaint the roadkill." "I'll use a process the experts call 'dishonesty'." "My motto is 'if it isn't immoral, it probably won't work'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired, incompetent, everything, teach dilbert, how to do your job

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carl, I have to fire you." "You're totally incompetent at everything you do." "Before you go, I'd like you to teach Dilbert how to do your job."