Managers Comic Strips - Page 52
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Character
596 Results for Managers
View 511 - 520 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 03,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work all night, inspiring employees, clearly defined roles, business
Transcript
Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday July 31,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, multitasking, ignorant bafoon, coffee, authority, business
Transcript
Carol: I can't finish everything today. Boss: Try multitasking. Carol: Multitasking? Is that like being an ignorant baboon and drinking coffee at the same time? Boss: I missed what you said because I was drinking coffee.
Sunday June 10,
2012
Tags better job, goldilocks zone, managers, marinate in own stench, monster, skills expire, technology certifictae, training, your training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Friday July 22,
2011
Tags ignorance (knowledge), interviews, managers, dumb decions, particpate
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.
Monday June 27,
2011
Tags direction, managers, increase clairty, whining
Transcript
CEO: employees keep whining that we don't have a clear direction. So Ive doubled the number of managers one each group to increase the clarity. The Boss: I thought we were doubling the direction. No, we're doubling the clarity.
Thursday April 21,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, questioning, suspicion, schedule meetings, excuse, do nothing, disbelief, scheduling meetings, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?
Saturday April 09,
2011
Tags inventions, managers & supervisors, portal, parallel uiverse, more prodcutive, universe, cops, alice killed boss, business
Transcript
Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."
Thursday April 07,
2011
Tags engineers, managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, finishing projects, early, powerpoint, presentation, executive retreat, dead boss hand puppet, business
Transcript
Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."
Wednesday April 06,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, information overload, libertarian, taxidermist, hand hole, work, like puppet, creepy, business
Transcript
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."
Monday April 04,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, brain overload, detailed answer, broken, decison, nodding, sensing opportunity, business
Transcript
Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."

