Asok Comic Strips - Page 52

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

964 Results for Asok

View 511 - 520 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad attitude, bad news, bad perfromance, boss meeting, downsized, dump, free from tyranny, rational, profits

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is standing in the doorway of The Boss' office. Catbert says, "Bad news." Catbert continues, "The employees figured out that they won't get raises next year because profits are in the dumps." The Boss gasps. Catbert's voice continues, "And they're being rational about it." Asok says to Wally, "We are free from the tyranny of having to work hard for raises." Wally exclaims, "Ooh-yah!" Wally continues, "But there's a delicate balance because we don't want to be down-sized." Wally continues, "I figure we can either have bad attitudes or bad performance but not both." Asok says, "I think I'll try having a bad attitude." Wally replies, "'I'm a bad performance man myself." Wally and Asok are sitting in The Boss' office. Wally says, "I just realized that my entire job can be done by guessing." Asok says, "Hey, dip-weed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags can't breathe, demonstration, evil eye process, new consultant, paper cut bleeding, rasputin, charisma

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good manager, hires samrter, boss dumber, ceo, dumbest person, bad managers, doomed, motivational meeting, high five

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are in a meeting. The Boss explains, "A good manager hires people who are smarter than he is." Wally asks, "So... your boss is dumber than you?" Alice asks, "And your boss' boss is dumber yet?" Then, Dilbert says, "According to your theory, our CEO is the dumbest person in the company." Wally adds, "Unless all of you are bad managers." And Asok says, "Truly we are doomed either way." The Boss responds, "This concludes the motivational part of the meeting." Wally says to the Boss, "I'd give you a high five but I don't like to move."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch, fall, fall back, frustration, gone wrong, learn trust, lesson, questioning, test fall, tolerate co owrkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, how can I learn to tolerate my co-workers? Wally: It is time for you to learn about trust, Asok. Let me show you. Turn around. This is called the "trust fall." You fall backward and trust me to catch you... go. Asok: Why didn't you catch me?!!! Wally: It wouldn't be trust if it worked every time. Asok: What kind of lesson is that? Wally: This is how I tolerate my co-workers.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rich people, thinking, fool proof, plan for success, think about shoes, easy tasks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have a fool-proof plan for success. I will read a book on how rich people think. Then I will start thinking this way. Book: Rich people think about their shoes a log. Asok: I can do that!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, honesty, rich people, career success, avoid losers, suck energy, taking staors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: While we have this chance encounter, I wonder if you could share your secrets for career success. CEO: Avoid associating with losers because they will lower your standards and suck the energy out of you. Would you mind taking the stairs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, prosperity, secret to usccess, eating bread, follow your passion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, the secret to success is to do what you love and stick to it. Asok: I like eating bread. Boss: Exactly! Follow your passion. Six Months Later Asok: Maybe I should try something else. Boss: Quitter.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comic ends early, embedded punchline, follow passion, joking, made fat, set up, blank frame, sight gag

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, fear, opinion of plan, rip off arms, track down family, kill family, india, Advice, giving advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mentors, drive steak through heart, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, thanks to my mentoring, someday you will be just like me. Asok: Gaaa!!! Someone please drive a stake through my heart! Hurry! Boss: Apparently I don't know what mentoring is.