Harvard Degree Over Cheeseburger Comic Strips - Page 52

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View 511 - 520 results for harvard degree over cheeseburger comic strips. Discover the best "Harvard Degree Over Cheeseburger" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #employment studies, #good boss, #getting riase, #less dysfunctional, #creepy dude, #business

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Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award

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Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #servers, #electricity, #virtualize, #trade journal, #software, #over shoulder, #computer, #boss, #worker, #technology, #engineering

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The Boss: Our servers are using too much electricity. We need to virtualize. I did my part by reading about virtualization in a trade journal. Now you do the software part. Why is your part taking so long?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tool belt, #wear, #date, #squirrel satellite dish, #user

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woman: "Dilbert, when you come over tonight, wear your toolbelt." Dilbert says, "Because it's sexy?" woman: "That would be between you and the squirrel that keeps chewing the cable from my satellite dish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office

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Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget

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Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elf, #feel special, #likes pets, #random stack, #birthday, #birthday cards

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Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #head explode, #one more thing, #clean up, #aisle three, #work, #over worked, #crazy

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The Boss says, "Ted, I know you said your head would explode if I ask you to do one more thing, but..." POW! The Boss says, "Cleanup on aisle three."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 million, #rickshaw driver, #pedal, #solar power, #pig without sun, #solar technology

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A man says, "We invested $100 million in your solar technology and all you developed was this ham sandwich." Dogbert says, "If you feed that ham sandwich to a rickshaw driver, he can pedal you all over town." The man says, "You call that solar power?" Dogbert says, "Try growing a pig without the sun."