Pass Away Comic Strips - Page 52

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517 Results for Pass Away

View 511 - 517 results for pass away comic strips. Discover the best "Pass Away" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, invent, app, application, ring, phone, meeting, strategic, direction, face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, lazy, working, ignore, text, email, response, data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

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Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, network, redesign, project, phase, positive, optimistic, assign, sarcasm

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boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Share Your Screen

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Share Your Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, technology, business, office, video conference, zoom, share, screen, quit

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dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.

Nickname For Dilbert

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Nickname For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, nickname, geek, insult, business, odds, name, actual

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ceo: i came up with a nickname for you because you're such a geek. ceo points at dilbert. "dilbert." dilbert: that's my actual name. ceo walking away thinking: what were the odds of that?

Elbonian Hackers Attack

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Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm

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dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.