Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 52

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags day off, empty office, holiday, loser, new years day, work, worked

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Tina: What did you do for New Year's Day? Dilbert: I forgot it was a holiday and came to work for ten hours." Tina: That's sort of loserish. Dilbert: Thanks for labeling it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags corner, cubilce, door, fantasy, nutrients, office, replacement, giant mushroom

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The Boss: Now that you're out of the loop, your new cubicle will be a giant mushroom. It's a pleasant environment except when the mushroom gets its nutrients. wally: Nutrients?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags travel expenses, meal costs, liar or worse, round numbers, finance troll, papers, office, computer, desk, technology

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Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, distraction, meeting, move, office, phone ring, rug catch fire, business

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Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags five year plan, five minutes, office, room, conference room

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The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate

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CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jesus, leader, team leader, in need, 12 people, upgrade systems, lunch meeting, bed feelings, savior, office

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It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags home lap top, non standard cell phone, elastic underpants, trapped, snagged, clothes, rigged, office

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Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags court room, judge, lawyer, ceo, witness, defendant, die die die, admits guilt, first question, legal

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Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred

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The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"