Stop Giving Comic Strips - Page 52
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540 Results for Stop Giving
View 511 - 520 results for stop giving comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Giving" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 08,
2020
Version 2 Kills
Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense
Transcript
wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags makeup, masks, offended, office workers, pandemic, human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.
Sunday July 26,
2020
Manage With Data
Tags analysis, business, data, face maks, leadership, manage, managers & supervisors, paralysis, technology, useable
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.
Sunday September 27,
2020
The Timing Trick
Tags office workers, timing, trick, neighborhood, visit, estimate, eta, home, cancel, promise, late, face mask
Transcript
tina: i'll be in your neighborhood saturday, maybe i'll stop by. dilbert: i'm not falling for that trick. tina: what trick? dilbert: the trick where you give me an estimated time and then push it back seven times until you cancel. i'll be stuck waiting at home until my whole day is wasted. tina: i promise i won't do that. i'll stick to the time. dilbert: what time is that? tina: depends how my day goes. dilbert thinking: and so it begins. tina: i'll text you if i'm running late.
Tuesday September 08,
2020
Management Got Virus
Tags business, health, management, coronavirus, quarantined, work, wisdom, idiot, theme, face mask, sarcasm
Transcript
catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.
Saturday September 12,
2020
Augmented Reality
Tags office workers, business, introduction, reality, glasses, social media, history, impressions, dumb, face mask
Transcript
girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!
Thursday October 29,
2020
32 Page Slide Deck
Tags business, idiot, input, insult, sadist, sarcasm, slide deck, technology
Transcript
co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.
Wednesday November 04,
2020
Wally Hates His App
Tags business, technology, application, stop, fix, hate, developers, need, problem solving
Transcript
wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
Thursday November 12,
2020
Yes Queen
Tags business, business people, sarcasm, value, appreciation, queen, devalue
Transcript
asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?
Saturday December 05,
2020
Married Zoomers
Tags business, sarcasm, video conference, technology, zoom, anger, married, speakerphone, room, hear, distracting
Transcript
dilbert with laptop on video conference. voice from laptop yelling: stop using your speakerphone! i'm trying to make a zoom call! i can still hear you! go in the other room! i said go in the other room! dilbert: being married sounds fun. Voice from laptop: i can still hear you!