Stop Customers Comic Strips - Page 52

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

521 Results for Stop Customers

View 511 - 520 results for stop customers comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Keyboard Clicks

Thank you for voting.
Keyboard Clicks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.

Wally Slurps

Thank you for voting.
Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup

View Transcript

Transcript

alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.

Keyboard Tapping

Thank you for voting.
Keyboard Tapping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #sleeping, #multi-task

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: why do i hear a keyboard tapping every time i'm talking? click, click, click. alice: i have to multi-task when you talk, just to stay awake. the boss: please stop doing that. alice: okay... - zzzzzz-zzzzzz-zzz...

And Then Mark Said

Thank you for voting.
And Then Mark Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #anger, #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.

How To Reduce Turnover

Thank you for voting.
How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

Thank you for voting.
Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Tina Likes To Hum

Thank you for voting.
Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Toxic Employee

Thank you for voting.
Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Best Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?