Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 52

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612 Results for Stop Watch

View 511 - 520 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally The Thought Leader

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Wally The Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags title, leadership, work ethic, laziness, strategy, ruse

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Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, con, deception, hiring, money, referral, scheme, guest artist, jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

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Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture

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Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.

Wally Might Be Jealous

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Wally Might Be Jealous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, wife, wives, Women, roles, nagging, demands, cheating, adultery, relationships

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Wally: I hear you have two work wives. Dilbert: You sound jealous. Wally: Do I? Tina: Stop what you're doing and drive me to my car. Wally: Hee-hee! Snork.

Social Justice Warrior

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Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sjw, hiring, internet, troll, trolling, sensitivity, political correcness, politically correct, technology

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Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!

Mom Drone

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Mom Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drone, surveillance, mom, mothers, spying

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Asok: Hey, you have one of those cool selfie drones! Dilbert: No, I keep forgetting to call my mom, so she sent a drone to watch me. Asok: Is that legal? Dilbert: I checked. It's not trespassing unless it lands.

How Conversations Work

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How Conversations Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, conversation, distraction, phone, social, technology

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Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punctuality, late, excuses, traffic, sleep, time management, health

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Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.

Drone Defense System

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Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drone, help, rescue, inept, failure, technology

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Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.

Telling People How To Do Their Jobs

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Telling People How To Do Their Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, quality assurance, misunderstanding, micromanage, business

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Alan, From Quality Assurance. Boss: Is it true that the only thing you have been doing is assuring people we have quality? Alan: I don't like to tel people how to do their jobs. Boss: Telling people how to do their jobs is literally your job. Alan: In that case, stop doing all of this.