Eyebrows Burn Off Comic Strips - Page 53
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572 Results for Eyebrows Burn Off
View 521 - 530 results for eyebrows burn off comic strips. Discover the best "Eyebrows Burn Off" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 10,
2016
Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Monday March 21,
2016
Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief
Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology
Transcript
Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.
Wednesday March 23,
2016
Rat With An Ear On His Back
Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday
Transcript
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
Monday March 28,
2016
Wally Has Passon For No Goals
Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney
Transcript
Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.
Thursday May 05,
2016
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows
Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.
Sunday May 29,
2016
Tags #coworkers, #workspace, #noise, #cubicle, #open floorplan, #etiquette, #fingernails, #toenails
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.
Saturday June 18,
2016
Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations
Tags #vacation, #work ethic, #workload, #time off
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says you have to take a vacation. Dilbert: I don't want one. I would be bored for a week and come back to all the work that piled up while I was gone. Boss: Nothing about you is normal. Dilbert: Thank you.
Tuesday July 26,
2016
Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies
Tags #human resources, #hr, #funeral, #time off, #bereavement, #business
Transcript
Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?
Friday November 25,
2016
Airport Security
Tags #embarrassment, #viral video
Transcript
Dilbert: My business trip didn't go well. I took off my belt for airport security and my pants fell off. Someone took a video and everyone is sharing it. Wally: This is literally the first time I wish I had friends.