Strain Something Comic Strips - Page 53

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594 Results for Strain Something

View 521 - 530 results for strain something comic strips. Discover the best "Strain Something" comics from Dilbert.com.

Attending A Meeting For Kevin

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Attending A Meeting For Kevin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #sexual harrassment, #real, #fantasy, #imagination

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Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.

The Cia Is Listening

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The Cia Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #amazon, #spying, #surveillace, #paranoid, #privacy

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Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.

Wally's Dental Excuse

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Wally's Dental Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic

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Tina: Wally, I need your input on my project plan. Wally: One moment, please. I have to check my spreadsheet to see which excuses I already used with you. Tina: I'll need a good one to get past my anger. Wally: Hmmm... maybe something dental.

Dilbert Does Nothing Useful

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Dilbert Does Nothing Useful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #meaning, #meaningless, #motivation, #laziness

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Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.

Blamecatcher

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Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

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Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

Alice Forgives

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Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive

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Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

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Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #goals, #achievement, #aspirations, #frustration, #reality

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Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.

Human Sensation Slipping Away

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 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

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Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

The Problem Is Humans

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The Problem Is Humans  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business

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Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.