Ceo Comic Strips - Page 53

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627 Results for Ceo

View 521 - 530 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Who's Turn To Lie

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Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

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Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

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Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, space flight, rocket, death, sacrifice, astronaut, medical

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CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Estimating Software Completion

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Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags estimate, deadline, questioning, delay, prediction

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Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, impracticality, managers, leadership, threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Resources Complain

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Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, language, jargon, manager

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Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

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Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, honesty, insult, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Management Fast Track

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Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talent, management, potential, frustration

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Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo

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Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, heat, charger, phone, coffee

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Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.

Wally's Sleep Vr

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Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vr, virtual reality, sleeping, nap, deception, technology

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Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?