Set Thing Comic Strips - Page 53

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607 Results for Set Thing

View 521 - 530 results for set thing comic strips. Discover the best "Set Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

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If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

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Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

Asok Meets Dick

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Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

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Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

Software Done Next Week

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Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo

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Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunchback, #posture, #slouch, #attitude, #psychology

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Dilbert: This job is turning me into Quasimodo. Tina: Is it mostly a posture thing, or do you have some of the Quasi's attitude as well? Dilbert; What's wrong with my posture? Tina: I could ask you what's wrong with his attitude.

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Wally Has Passon For No Goals

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Wally Has Passon For No Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney

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Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.

All Options Lead To Doom

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All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #blame, #responsibility, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.

Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally

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Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #inventions, #scapegoat, #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.