Set Thing Comic Strips - Page 53

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

607 Results for Set Thing

View 521 - 530 results for set thing comic strips. Discover the best "Set Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Asok Meets Dick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

Software Done Next Week

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunchback, #posture, #slouch, #attitude, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This job is turning me into Quasimodo. Tina: Is it mostly a posture thing, or do you have some of the Quasi's attitude as well? Dilbert; What's wrong with my posture? Tina: I could ask you what's wrong with his attitude.

Being The Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Wally Has Passon For No Goals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Passon For No Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.

All Options Lead To Doom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #blame, #responsibility, #scapegoat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.

Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #inventions, #scapegoat, #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.