Adopt Cubicle Comic Strips - Page 53

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545 Results for Adopt Cubicle

View 521 - 530 results for adopt cubicle comic strips. Discover the best "Adopt Cubicle" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new cucbicle, #self suffcient, #work space, #life suport, #various tubes, #watch to body, #vital signs, #monitor, #central location, #human resources dept, #emergency hiring

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"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evolution favors monkeys, #cages, #as pets, #humans treated

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Zimbu: evolution favors monkeys, Eventually humans will be kept in cages as pets. Dilbert: Impossible! we humans will never allow ourselves to be treated like that! Now get out of the cubicle,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle gestapo, #plastic plant, #rebel, #evil, #anti perspirant, #breaking down, #take a stand

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dilbert: I'm going to defy the cubicle gestapo and keep this plastic plant on my desk. Im a rebel...Im evil. My anti perspirant is breaking down! Dilbert: Sometimes a man has to take a stand. Dogbert: could he stand someplace else?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #alice, #space, #computer, #office, #case study, #todd, #allen, #Men

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Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phil, #office, #computer, #cubicle, #stealing, #chair

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Dilbert sneaks into a cubicle and thinks, "If the warehouse won't replace my broken chair, I'll just take one from somebody else." Dilbert reaches for a chair and thinks, "Technically, it's not stealing because the chair belongs to the company either way." Dilbert thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Phil the Ruler of Heck stands behind Dilbert and says into a walkie-talkie, "Hold the elevator . . . Over."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #managers & supervisors, #the boss

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "My chair is broken and the warehouse is out of 'engineer chairs.'" Dilbert continues, "And since I'm . . . You know . . . Empowered, I thought I might order a 'manager chair' for the time being." Dilbert asks, "I've over-stepped my authority, haven't I?" The Boss replies, "Next you'll want a screen door on your cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #low-wall, #clerical, #style, #cubicle, #league, #degree, #copier, #secreatary, #crossbow

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Carol: I sit innocently in my low-wall clerical style cubicle. Man: One copy, no staple. Carol: Men with Ivy-league degrees walk past the copier and ask me to make copies. I am a secretary with a crossbow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #cubicle

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Next week I'll be at my new job, reaping huge rewards." Wally replies, "We're so happy for you." The man says, "But I'll still have a little cubicle like yours." The man continues, "The only difference being that I'll keep a pony there. That way it's close to my office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ed, #business meeting, #business project

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Dilbert and Wally watch the Boss tell Ed, "Nervous Ed, I'm assigning you to a special project." Nervous Ed pulls his tie and replies, "Special assignment? That means you don't have any real work for me." Nervous Ed continues, "Everybody knows that a special assignment is a kiss of death." The Boss continues, "You'll be sharing a cubicle with six other employees who are also on special assignment." Nervous Ed looks scared and thinks, "Don't panic yet . . . Maybe it's something important . . . Maybe it's something that could make an impact." The Boss says, "Your assignment is to improve employee empowerment." Nervous Ed looks shocked. Nervous Ed convulses and faints. Wally tells the Boss, "Thanks for letting us watch." The Boss asks, "Did you like the part about six in the cubicle?"