Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 53
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 521 - 530 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 21,
2008
Tags addicted to internet, doctor, interesting, internet, medicine, offcie, pill, underlying probelm, medical, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet because it's more interesting than people. Is there a pill you can give to everyone else to make them more interesting? Doctors never want to treat the underlying problem.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday November 14,
2008
Tags robots went bad, murderous ramapage, unfahionable, overpaid, robots, fist of death, stuck
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our robots went bad. They're on a murderous rampage." Dogbert says, "I'll take care of it." Dogbert says, "Hey, Alice. Guess who says your hair is unfashionable and you're overpaid? Robots." Alice says, "Little help, please. My fist of death is stuck."
Sunday October 26,
2008
Tags carbicle, 50%car, 50% cubicle, 100% awesome, human efficiency, expression, engineer, something perfect, genius, shut up, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."
Saturday October 18,
2008
Tags philanthropist, eat for one day, opulent life, super models, stop giving, inspire, try harder
Transcript
Dogbert the Philanthropist Dogbert says, "If I give a man a fish, he will eat for one day." Dogbert says, "But if I inspire him by my opulent lifestyle and my squiring of supermodels, he might try harder." Dilbert says, "You can't stop giving." Dogbert says, "It's like a curse."
Friday October 17,
2008
Tags stepping down, ceo, money stolen, hellhole, huge bag of cash, helicopter, writes book, buy book
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."
Thursday October 16,
2008
Tags dogcart the ceo, start rumors, spread lies, stock pop up, stock options, steal, before computers
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert thinks, "Start some rumors, spread some lies..." Dogbert says, "Wait for the stock to pop up... exercise my stock options... bang!" Dogbert thinks, "How did people steal before computers?"
Wednesday October 15,
2008
Tags dogcart the ceo, investors, bought helicopter, birds off building, parking lot, beaks and feathers
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO The Boss says, "Our investors are not happy that you bought a helicopter." The Boss says, "Or that you only use it to keep birds off the building." The Boss says, "Or that the parking lot is filling up with beaks and feathers." Dogbert says, "I can't please everyone."
Tuesday October 14,
2008
Tags dogcart the ceo, 420 times, smarter, system is flawed, contradicting your boss
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I earn 420 times what you make. That means I'm 420 times smarter." A man says, "Actually, it means the system is deeply flawed." Dogbert says, "If you were 420 times smarter, you wouldn't be contradicting your boss right now."
Monday October 13,
2008
Tags dogcart the ceo, salary, 400x more, admit your selfish, money
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"
Saturday October 11,
2008
Tags 100 million, rickshaw driver, pedal, solar power, pig without sun, solar technology
Transcript
A man says, "We invested $100 million in your solar technology and all you developed was this ham sandwich." Dogbert says, "If you feed that ham sandwich to a rickshaw driver, he can pedal you all over town." The man says, "You call that solar power?" Dogbert says, "Try growing a pig without the sun."


