Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 53
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1000 Results for Office Equipment
View 521 - 530 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 21,
2012
Tags context, do nothing, office equipment, scenario, technology plan
Transcript
Boss: I can't sign off on this technology plan because I don't understand it. Dilbert: To be fair, you wouldn't understand any technology plan, including the "do nothing" scenario. Is this one of those cases where context isn't helpful?
Monday February 27,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, ideas, wine, liquid lunch, tweet, down trodden, sense of humor, twitter, cell phone, office, technology
Transcript
BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.
Tuesday February 07,
2012
Tags computers & peripherals, office equipment, email servers, inbox, vowels only, complain, loudest, complain to boss
Transcript
Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!
Monday February 06,
2012
Tags monsters, office equipment, email servers, ancestral hime, reduce expenses, data vampires, exagerration, fiber optic
Transcript
I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Sunday December 18,
2011
Tags declare failure, explaining things, frustration, incompetence, office workers, partial victory, platform upgarde, teds brain, trapped
Transcript
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Friday December 16,
2011
Tags gadgets, phone heard, phone scheduled meeting, schedule a meeting., secretaries (office), digital world, replaces humans
Transcript
Boss: Schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice for next Tuesday at ten. Phone: Done. Boss: Never mind. My phone took care of it. Awkward.
Sunday December 11,
2011
Tags meetings, office workers, focus areas, sense of humor, dumb enogh, misunderstood man, angry idiot, selling it
Transcript
Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.
Saturday December 10,
2011
Tags despair, office workers, self respect, prison, goals, slavery, self inflicted, angry, weak
Transcript
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Thursday December 01,
2011
Tags obliviousness, obstinacy, office workers, whiteboard, conference room, prohject timeline, zombie reflex mode
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?


