Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 53

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View 521 - 530 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, proposal, problems, quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

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Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags psychology, reality, parody, broken, business, garbage, Comic, indistinguishable

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dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, sarcasm, technology, boss, business, department, proposal, reality, parody, inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Parody Inversion Point

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Parody Inversion Point - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags government, sarcasm, parody, business, inversion, reality, absurd

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dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!

Boss Recommends Blockchain

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Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology

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CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Ron Moore

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Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, insults, jokes, mistake, sales, customers

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Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

New Tv Ad

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New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, business ethics, marketing, men and women, office workers, relations between the sexes, accuse

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Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, complaining, employees, obliviousness, attitude

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Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.

Best Employees

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Best Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, confused, employees, customer service

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CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?