Technology Comic Strips - Page 53
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803 Results for Technology
View 521 - 530 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 26,
2012
Tags apple, consumer prodcuts, lust after products, magic, magic dust, nose, smell, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: This is the magic dust that Apple puts on all of its consumer products to make you lust after them. I wouldn't sniff it if I were you. Terrific. Now I feel compelled to get a nose like yours for no rational reason.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday June 10,
2012
Tags better job, goldilocks zone, managers, marinate in own stench, monster, skills expire, technology certifictae, training, your training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Saturday May 26,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, decison, emailed, definition, sarcasm, internet, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I need something called a "decision." You might not know what that word means, so I emailed you a link to its definition. How did people do sarcasm before the internet? Wally: Maybe they didn't need to.
Saturday May 19,
2012
Tags interviews, senior year, college, launch start ups, lifelong learning, technology certifictae, relevant to field, uneducated, more experience then boss, education
Transcript
Applicant: I skipped my senior year of college to launch my first of three start-ups. I believe in lifelong learning. I have every technology certification relevant to my field. Boss: He's uneducated.
Tuesday May 15,
2012
Tags confusing, multiple pages, public speaking, real words, small text, unpersuasive, computer, desk, no one can read, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.
Friday May 04,
2012
Tags inventions, tazer, cell phone, boss's desk, tased, technology
Transcript
Wally: I invented a taser that looks exactly like a cellphone. Boss: Gaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a. Wally: I left it on our boss's desk, but it sounds like he's done with it.
Sunday April 08,
2012
Tags lunch date, not attracted, technoloigy, only like tech, people are creepy, delivery system, viruses, germs, picture, photoshop, people hater
Transcript
Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.
Sunday April 01,
2012
Tags being freightened, creepy vibe, leadership, obsolete, public speaking, sense of urgency, thread the needle, tech platforms
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!
Wednesday March 21,
2012
Tags context, do nothing, office equipment, scenario, technology plan
Transcript
Boss: I can't sign off on this technology plan because I don't understand it. Dilbert: To be fair, you wouldn't understand any technology plan, including the "do nothing" scenario. Is this one of those cases where context isn't helpful?
Sunday March 11,
2012
Tags cloud, email, internet speak, lingo, meetings, pretending, text, understanding technology, wi fi, skype
Transcript
Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.


